I bet you think I am crazy, right?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
No matter what the “experts” told you, you do not need to ask people for real estate referrals in order to get business.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
In fact, I am telling you that you never<\/em> should ask for a real estate referral.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Ever<\/em>.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Asking people to feed you business implies that they are doing you a favor by \u201cgiving\u201d you business.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n The conventional wisdom tells you to state how great you are and then do something heroic to convince people to work with you, and then swallow the rising vomit in the back of your throat as you ask if you have earned their business and they can refer their friends.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n This sets the expectation that you owe them something and that their business is up for grabs. It creates the gateway to begging, reducing your fee or increasing your level of service to undercut the competition.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n The greatest compliment I can receive is a referral from you!<\/a><\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Who the fu*k talks like that?!?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n For real.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Since when is it cool to go around asking for compliments<\/em>?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n What a dumb question.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Why would you ask this?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Does your doctor ask this? Does she call you and ask if you have any sick friends that you could send her way?\u00a0 It seems ridiculous, right?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n When you picture your doctor, don\u2019t you see her in a white coat saving lives and being all smart and doctory?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n How would you feel if the person you put your trust in to keep you healthy had so much time on her hands that she had nothing better to do than to call you and ask you to help pay her mortgage?\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Wouldn’t it indicate that she kind of sucks at being a doctor?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Think about it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Really think how silly this sounds, yet agents are told to do this all the time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n We might not be saving lives, but we sure are affecting them. We assist people through what is often the most expensive and complex transaction of their lives.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Don\u2019t show up in your underwear with your bills and insecurities exposed and your desperation due to lack of business. How will people have faith in you if you are calling them asking for help finding your next clients?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Yet, asking for real estate referrals is so embedded in the conventional advice given to real estate agents that a quick google search resulted in these scripted suggestions:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script<\/strong>: \u201cBy the way, the majority of my business comes by word-of-mouth from past clients.\u00a0 It\u2019s how I prefer to run my business.\u00a0 So if you know anyone that is looking to buy or sell a home this year, would you mind referring them to me?\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reaction<\/strong>: Of course it’s how you prefer to run your business. You want me to get your clients for you for free. I understand why you<\/em> prefer it this way, but what’s in it for me<\/em>?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script:<\/strong> \u201cI want to work with more clients like you, and I find that people looking to move know others in the same position. How would you feel about referring my services to them?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reply:<\/strong> Honestly, I would feel a little creepy about it. You sound like a desperate robot.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script:<\/strong> \u201cIt\u2019s been really great working with you thus far, and I feel really grateful to Jane for introducing you to me.\u00a0 If it wasn\u2019t for her, I would\u2019ve never met you. So I just wanted to take the time to ask you if you know anyone else that is looking to buy or sell a home, and if you would feel comfortable introducing them to me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reaction:<\/strong> Jane introduced me to you, and now I know why! You probably asked her the same question that you are asking me. I do not feel connected to you. Maybe I will give you a name now, but only because you put me on the spot. You seem like a salesperson first, I cannot find the human there. Kindly go away.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script:<\/strong> \u201cWho else do you know that needs to move right now?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reply:<\/strong> Why should I tell you?\u00a0 Seriously? Why should I tell you? What\u2019s in it for me? FU. Click.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script:<\/strong> \u201cYou are so great to work with, and I find that people typically hang around similar people.\u00a0 I would love to work with more people like you, so do you know anyone looking to move in the near future?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reply:<\/strong> You mean work with more people like me who are going to buy a $400,000 house?\u00a0 Or people like me that volunteer at the homeless shelter. Because if you really want to work with people like me, we need the Thursday evening and Saturday morning shift covered in the dining room. Which day is better for you?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Script:<\/strong> \u201cBecause you are in the process of moving right now, you will overhear a lot of conversations from different people looking to move when you are out and about.\u00a0 When you do, would you mind giving them my phone number and asking them to call me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n My reply:<\/strong> Let me get this straight. You want ME to keep YOUR phone number handy so when I hear someone talking about moving I can jump into the conversation to promote your business, just so you can sell them a house, and have them work for you for free too?\u00a0 Must be nice to have your racket of a business model. No thanks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n There will be agents who swear that this scripted method works for them, and although they might not be lying, they aren\u2019t talking about the big picture and the impression it leaves on people.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Because even if people don\u2019t outwardly reply the way I do here, most of them are probably thinking something similar.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Instead of sounding like a desperate and creepy sales agent who has to\u00a0 beg for business,\u00a0 I am telling you that it is better to turn it around and just talk<\/em> to people.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n No matter how great the script is, it is still just a disguised way of begging people for their business.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n No matter how much you practice your script, it still sounds like a script.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And scripts are creepy.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Every. Single. Time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Sales is service.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Sales is problem solving.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n So why do people tell you to ask your clients for real estate referrals???\u00a0 How awkward is that<\/em> conversation?<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n <\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Hi Ms. Buyer who bought a house from me a year ago. I am really great at what I do, so I happen to be reaching out to you today to see if you can take time out of your day to think of all the people you know. Then think of anyone you know who might be buying or selling.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I know you are busy, but I really want to pay down my credit card debt and go get some Botox. It has been 8 months- partly due to quarantine, and partly because I have a shoe habit\u2026.but you get the point.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Anyway, back to the reason I called.\u00a0 You seemed pretty happy with the house I sold you, and I thought since I needed some cash, I would call you to see if you could hand me a buyer.<\/em><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n How about instead if you called Ms. Buyer to see how she is? Just ask her a question about her life and then actually listen.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n What if you called her to see how she is and to see if there was a way that you could help her<\/em>? Or texted her to just check in?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n What if you reached out to make a human connection and simply used your\u00a0 human-being-energy to converse with another human being, and you also happened to create curiosity<\/a><\/em> to remind Ms. Buyer that you are\u00a0 in real estate?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And then Ms. Buyer would have you on top of mind so that if someone she knew was in the market she would think of you and refer to you\u00a0 because she wanted to, rather than because you begged her.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n That feels so much better to me, and I am sure it feels so much better to Ms. Buyer.\u00a0 Doesn’t it feel better to you<\/em>?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nWhat Do I Have to Do to Earn Your Referrals?<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Does this Seem Harsh? It’s Meant to.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Stop Begging for Real Estate Referrals. It\u2019s Gross and it’s Beneath You.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Let\u2019s Reframe This. Please.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Awkward AF<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Easy Breezy.<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Touch 5 People a Day, and Not in the Creepy Way<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n